Ummm yeah....

Today and yesterday pretty much have sucked to the highest levels of suckage existing in the world....
My dog, the one I picked from the litter in 1999... the gray chihuahua that my dad refused to believe was a chihuahua, my only friend in the States for several months, my beloved (and certain days hated) pet passed away. My mom found him when she got back from work, and my brother - thankfully - walked in right as my mom had gotten home. I got the call while driving back home from work, and I cried the whole way to our house. I cried all night, and then couldn't control myself and proceeded to cry in 4 out of 5 of my classes. Way to try to stay calm.
Either way, I think it is psychologically sound for people to continue with the routine after a loss (not that I have had many), because I have noticed that as soon as I stop doing something I start crying again. I believe tomorrow will be better, and I know that the house will seem too quiet for months to come and perhaps years. I think it is hard to explain to people how much this has affected us, but for those who know me and know my family, you know how much that dog meant to us. He had his own studio pictures! He had his own blankets, and my mom bought him a snuggie and even a Halloween costume. He had his own clothes, because he never had hair and was cold year round, he told us when it was time to go to bed, and made sure we knew if he was unhappy about something. He was annoying, and oh-so-loud, but he was also loving and oh-so-funny...
It is also snowing, and I am normally sad on days like these -- probably the fact that I was born in a tropical country?-- So it DEFINITELY did not help my case. My heart already feels like it's 20 degrees and snowing... does it really have to be 20 degrees and snowing the day after my dog passed?
Then I get to school, and we are told that our budget cuts for next year will be of over 6 million dollars... or equivalent to about 150 teachers. One hundred and fifty teacher. My probabilities of having a job next year are slim to none, by the looks of things... and some of the teachers that have a one-man department, like the German and French teachers, will most likely be cut. It is so difficult, the financial situation. It is so heartbreaking to see that the priorities of this so-called first power of the world do not lie in their future generations, their education and the hope that they can make this planet a little bit better. Priorities seem to lie in oil, and highways and only law makers know what else. Cheers to that.
It is upsetting because I fucking LOVE what I do. I love my kids, I love my subject, I love the people who are teachers like me, I am passionate about education and I truly believe it can impact a whole society, I love my career with every fiber of my being... otherwise I wouldn't choose to work from 6-4 every day, or to work on Sundays from 8-12 without pay just so I can plan my week, or to spend 25 dollars buying 50 pairs of scissors, or 12 bucks on candy so I can play games with my students, or 70 dollars on an external hard drive so I can bring stuff home and to school without having issues between my Mac and the PCs at school... I dont mind spending my own money to perform better at what I LOVE TO DO.
And now I might not have ANYTHING to do, it seems.... because my school district will have to fire at least one school's worth of faculty. How do you tell a child that their education is important, when our own government seems to be set on eliminating teachers, cutting corners in education and summarizing knowledge and understanding with multiple-choice standardized testing?

I NEED A BEER.

B