...of apologies

I keep telling myself that the post to follow whatever previous post I wrote will be the bright spot in the month, or... the months of slightly negative postings. I am sorry. This is not that happy post. If you want to continue enjoying your day, please refrain from reading the following paragraphs:

Today I walked into our office (WL, Science and Math share the third floor office). I was greeted by a very sad-looking Frau. Frau, our department chair, asked me if I had heard the newa... when I said "no" she said "sit down, you need to hear this."
My entire world crashed down on me, as I expected the worst. Well, the worst happened, but not to me. She informed me that Matador, one of the Spanish teachers in our department, had been fired on Friday... long after all the other layoffs had been announced.
Matador is the teacher who set up the Europe trip. The ONLY teacher in our department that is up to date with all kinds of technology, music, and slang. The ONLY teacher who can make an entire group of teachers roll on the floor laughing because of one of his silly stories. Matador opened up his classroom door to me on my very first day at HHS, and being a transplant from Douglas County and a former student teacher of my AP Spanish teacher, we have had a great connection... to the point where he invited me to be a chaperone in Europe this summer.
I am devastated. While the reasons for Matador's layoff are still being figured out, I can't help but think it should have been me. I have no kids, no mortgage, and no rent to pay. Matador has two kids, and his wife is a teacher in Douglas County - where salaries have been frozen for years now. It should have been me, no one depends on me.
It sucks. He was not there today, of course. I can't blame him for not showing up. I would have a hard time getting up in the morning for the next three months and putting on the happy show for the kids to see. "Roommate" said she didn't agree with Matador's attitude, as he should not burn bridges in this profession... but they have handled everything so poorly. Especially the administration.
The "higher uppers" apparently told Matador that one of the main reasons behind his firing was the fact that he "did not cooperate or follow the decisions of the Spanish PL Community" and that "he just did not fit in with the teachers in the department." WHAT THE FUCK? Who uses fellow teachers as the excuse to fire another educator, you ask? the administrators of the school where I work. I can't believe they dragged us all into their lame excuse. I can't believe they used US as the reason! We have to continue to work with a teacher who now believes WE hate HIM! Did ANYONE sit down to think about that before coming up with that manufactured accusation? I didn't think so.

So it is quarter to ten on a Monday night. I can't sleep. I have been going around in circles in my head, trying to picture my first encounter with Matador tomorrow morning. I doubt it will be comfortable... I do not blame him.

It should have been me.