"I was given a ticket for visually speeding....!" "I SWEAR!"

I woke up at 5 am this morning after barely getting enough rest. Too nervous to even think, I made my bed and picked out an outfit for the day. Took a shower, did my hair and makeup and ran up the stairs to have a quick bite with the parents before 6:15, time in which i had to LEAVE my house.
I arrived at CSH, and discovered the school was only about 25% full since CAT meetings happen until 8 am... Nice visitor parking spot, plenty of time to check in... BTW, this school has that raptor system where they scan your ID to see if you are a pedophile. Pretty sweet stuff to actually see in action! ANYWAY....
I was nervous because my former students told me they hated CSH kids because they are (and i quote): "Snobby," "Rich," "Rude..."
I was welcomed by Miss Lev, who dragged me into the classroom and automatically started talking to me like we are the oldest of friends. Can I just say she is the sweetest, and in 7 years I want to look just like her. I want to have the same kind of relationship she has with her students and I want my kids to treat me the same way they treat her. It is such an energetic class, even though she's carrying a baby that's been cooking in that oven for like 8 months now! She still jumps around, and gets loud with the kids. So refreshing... I've been so lucky to work with such awesome teachers this past year!
I have to confess that about 2 hours into the day i pulled out a little scrap piece of paper and started jotting out things that were simply HILARIOUS. The kids, and the teachers, are so funny!
During lunch, I was talking to Amanda, Miss Lev and an English teacher... They were such an enjoyable group of ladies. And funny.
Lev kept trying to get Amanda to eat, but Amanda kept saying she wasnt pregnant and could not eat whatever "the heck she wanted, like other people..." Then they started talking about other stuff and all of a sudden someone mentioned something along the lines of "AVATAR SEX." I almost fell of my chair. Supposedly there's a student thats really into this game where he creates his avatar... and started a relationship (HUGE QUOTES AROUND RELATIONSHIP) with a girl. He then proceeded to take the "Relationship" to another level and they were now having avatar sex. After communicating this to his teacher (none of the teachers that were talking with me, btw) a few weeks went by and she saw that he was sad. When she asked him he replied that his girlfriend decided that she did not want to have sex with him anymore...Ok, can we just say how twisted this whole thing is? Hilarious. But twisted. And yes, the teachers were talking about it.
Then a student rolls into the office and asks Miss Lev how much her baby weighs. She tells him a number, and the student asks her if the baby is ok. She says yes. And he tells her that he thought "babies were supposed to be at least 10 pounds before they were born..." (SERIOUSLY?)
Then, continuing the conversation about Avatar Sex, Amanda concludes that this game needs an "Avatar ob-gyn" and an "Avatar apothecary" in order to avoid the spread of "avatar stds." This then led to a conversation about an STD breakout that happened last semester: all caused by the same girl. All I had to say was: poor guys.
Lev took me to meet the "dragon lady" that makes the copies and checks out school supplies. Lev told me she's only nice to "pregnant ladies, and anyone who's getting married." No idea why. And she is kind of mean, btw. Totally true.
There was also a story about Amanda getting locked out of her room by a student...
And then halfway through the day Lev tells me that a kid in 7th hour had asked her if "I would be interested in him" and if "I had a boyfriend." She just laughed while she was telling me this... but 7th hour all the kids came in and I swear I knew exactly who she was talking about because he walked in and STARED at me for the rest of the period. Then she told the class that they needed to call me Señorita because I am not married, and he decided that for the rest of the period he was going to ask Miss Lev "when is Señorita going to take over?"
Also this same class, 7th hour, had a kid that claims he got pulled over by a cop. He stated that the cop did not have his gun, but that he said he was going to ticket him anyway because he was "visually speeding." The student, of course, made sure to rant about it for the rest of the hour... and blamed his speeding on gravity. I'm serious. He did.

All in all: AWESOME DAY.

I get to see my babies tomorrow (my students at SLHS). I am so stoked i can't even explain it.
Now I must depart. I am running late to leslie's!!

xoxo,
miss bee