of why the world is the way it is...

We have been working on Rachel's Challenge at school for 2 years. This is the second year we have tried to elaborate, and encourage the message Rachel Scott left to the world: a message of hope, positive legacies, making a positive impact, and loving (+ respecting + accepting) one another. We live in a superficial society, where brands, looks and who drives the sweetest cars will get you places, while not having any of the above will mean nothing but bullying. I may be over exaggerating, I may be generalizing the situation, but the bottom line is that we all judge, we all have preconceived notions and we all should think a little bit more about one another before doing things that affect those around us. On Wednesday of last week my life was changed. I witnessed one of the meanest, lowest, basest acts of unkindness in my classroom. I pride myself in creating a relaxed, fun, and respectful atmosphere... a safe place where my kids come in and they can have a good time; a place for them to learn without having to look over their shoulders. I would be talking about a utopian classroom if I said kids aren't a-holes once in a while, but Wednesday felt like someone literally punched me in the stomach. I had volunteers go up to the board to write down some answers, which then would be corrected by fellow classmates until everyone's answers on the board were 100% correct. One of the volunteers who went up is a tall, awkward, i-just-had-a-growth-spur, sophomore football player. He is a great kid, I really like him and I laugh with him because he always has a funny joke. He went up to the board and wrote the correct answer. To everyone's surprise, his answer was perfect. Not.one.mistake. I informed him of this, and as he walked back to his seat, one of the kids who sits at the front of the classroom (and very much his antithesis: just as lanky, but with long, black (dyed) hair, shirts of Megadeth and all other dark bands you can imagine, a band kid, a drum player) let his guard down and put his hand up to give him a "hi-5" for getting it right. I watched the jock, the popular sophomore, the kid who has everything as he looked straight.at.his.hand, then looked at him, and then proceeded to walk right past him... arriving to a group of 3 other sophomore jocks who saw the whole thing evolve. They all started laughing. I wasn't the kid who had blatantly gotten ignored, I was the teacher who tries to see the best in my students, the loves of my life, the reasons I get out of bed in the morning.... It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like somebody had kicked me in the face, and it wasn't even me. I was not the victim. As I type this entry, I am getting teary eyed. I fought back my tears, said something to the mean sophomore and tried to continue teaching without making a scene and embarrassing the band kid even more. I asked the kid to stay after class, and he did... I replayed the scene for him, and I thought to myself "you better not cry." I asked him why he did it. He had no response; in fact, he was a little shocked that I was even calling him out on it because to him it didn't seem like a big deal. I was flabbergasted. I said to him "kindness is a virtue, and by what you are telling me... you're lacking many more virtues than just kindness. All you needed to do was put your hand out, no one was asking you to be his friend... " He left my room. Every single time I thought about what he did in class, I got upset. I was sad all day. I am still sad to know that even those kids who you think are best can be the first ones to kick people while they are down (not the first time it's happened this year!). I am upset to think about whether or not this small act of unkindness affected a boy that happens to be different from what we think is "cool" or "awesome." That band kid is one of the sweetest, most charming, most kind hearted students I know. He thanks me every day after every class, he wishes me a good weekend every Friday, and he laughs at my stupid jokes. He works his butt off in my class and LOVES it when I call on him. He is one of those students I want to multiply by 35 and fill a classroom with... he just doesn't fit our mold. On Wednesday night, at parent teacher conferences, the jock's mom came to see me. She had no idea of the events... and as I started telling her what had happened, I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. I could see tears in her eyes too. No one wants their kid to be the asshole...She told me that her son used to be the fat kid, and that in the past two years he has grown into a handsome young man. She told me she was absolutely appalled that after he was bullied, now he had turned into the bully. She and I had a heart to heart. It was a good, honest, open conversation... the likes of which I have never had before. After we were done talking I felt better, I had vented to the right person, I had made choices and taken steps to make sure at least that ONE kid never ever does something like that again. Now he will know someone is always watching... And thus, my Monday entry has cometh to an end.... Much love, Bee